We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
