SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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