SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
