i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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