I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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