At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
