At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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