i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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