That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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