Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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