i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
