oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
