He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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