I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize