Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
