We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
