Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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