Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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