We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
