I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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