i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
