Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
