Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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