my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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