you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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