let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
