Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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