I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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