Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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