So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
