I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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