My sheets look like a crime scene.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
