We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
