um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
