And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Green mimosas i think yes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
