Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
