I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is wine microwaveable?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
