Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize