I wish I could teleport
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
