haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
