I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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