There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i already hear my dad disowning me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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