just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
