That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
