did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
