i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You can't motorboat a personality
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
