You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize