Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
