i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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