god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize