Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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