Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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