you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
