hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your penis caused this!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
