I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
