around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
