He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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