Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
