I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
