let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize